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Not Enough Time in the Fucking Day

I’m sitting here, listening to free jazz (because I’m that person), wondering where the day went.

It’s 4:45PM and I feel like I’ve done nothing.

It’s not true, I’ve had my one meeting I was due to have. It went a little long, I guess but not really.

I did some actual work for an actual client.

I did some things that needed doing around the house. They didn’t take much time.

I’ve “attended class” at least a little today.

I’ve reached to both family and friends and strangers as part of my daily networking efforts.

I even wrote a music review. (Or two. Or, um, more than that.)

But I still have so many things I’m supposed to today that I’m once again not going to get done.

And I just don’t know where the time goes.

Some of this is just really poor planning: clearly I have way too many things I’m trying to do each day and some of them – um, the music reviews, maybe? – are not actually important.

But it feels different. It feels like I must be wasting my time somehow, as if some of the things I did today involved not doing what I listed above. I just don’t really know when that happened. (Well, I do know that I spent at least 15 minutes watching YouTube metal reaction videos, but that hardly explains it.)

And I’m left with this feeling of uselessness, that I wish I could overcome. But I have a hard time figuring out how.

I think I either need to start my day earlier or I need to limit my daily goals to something more manageable.

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